Frenzy & Fur

all the king's men

2009-08-31T15:33:00.001-07:00

i can't really explain why this is taking me for such a ride. or maybe i don't want to understand why, and therefore refuse to dig too deeply... i just don't know. i know it's none of my business, and despite the fact that i'm usually pretty good about letting those kinds of things roll off, this one is particularly sticky.

backstory: Brian is one of the resident nice guys around here. super-friendly, easy-going, and generally just a kind, good person. the kind of kind, good person that you want to see win all of the rounds, every battle. karma should play robin to his batman, and there should always be a happily ever after. married to his high school sweetheart, with two of the cutest kids anywhere. life is perfect, isn't it?

why would you do anything to lose it?
why would you let it go?
why not fight for it until the last drop has dried up?

...or did you?
was it her choice?
was it she who left you?

i discovered, via the infamous Facebook this weekend, that B's status has changed from "married" to "it's complicated." today i realized: he's no longer wearing his wedding ring.

so sad!
what happened?
what now?

upon further investigation (stalking? potato, potahto), there appears to be someone new in his life.

the usual, mousy, cutesy homewrecker-type...
why do they always look the same?

and then i remember back a few months ago, the private phone calls he took in his car, or out behind the office. seemed off at the time, but everyone needs to make an embarrassing appointment from time to time, right? marital debates happen at all hours of the day, and so who am i to question these actions?

only happened a few times anyway.

but now it's weird. do i say something? no, of course not. it's less my place to say a word than it is to play judge.

i mean in terms of support. want to talk?

no. not me. not this time. who am i to assume that roll?

it's just so disappointing.

oh poor you. like it's your marriage that's ended.

i know. thank God.

copywright

2009-08-21T15:29:00.000-07:00

so something has been super-bugging me for, well, a really long time now. i have no idea of when it began as a super-mega-wicked-pet-peeve, but there it is.

or here it is:

when something that was once, or still is, awesome (or perceived as awesome) is repeated in relative perpetuity by humans who repeat it in such a way as to make others think that perhaps it is their own, original, witty and adorable quip, deserving of repetition by the audience members in various venues and gatherings of mixed company in such a way as to suggest that it was THEIR OWN originality spewing forth. and so on.

and so on.

typically the quote (though not always a quote; sometimes an idea) is originally, relatively obscure. think not of the "WHAAZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHP?" phenomenon - charming as that was - of the late 90's... think more along the lines of bacon-love. skinny jeans & ironic t-shirts. knitting. internet-exclusive, web-short mini-series'. blogging. twitter. photography as a hobby.

now before the thousands upon thousands of bacon-loving, tweeting, knitting, hipster comic/photographer/bloggers out there reading this revolt and declare me a clueless, uncool loser (though not wholly untrue), i am NOT saying that there is anything wrong with bacon, skinny jeans, ironic t-shirts, knitting, web-short mini series, blogging, twitter or photography (okay, maybe there's lots wrong with skinny jeans). i myself enjoy a number of these things, and have often declared my love of said things to mixed company. guilty.

what i AM SAYING is that, chances are, not one of these things was YOUR idea. you were not the first person to find photography AWESOME. you do not hold a PhD in twitter. if you were the first to declare skinny jeans as a sartorial imperative, you should be lynched - not celebrated nor admired for your ingenuity. stop trying to lead me to believe that everything you find awesome was your original idea. your discovery.

it was not.
i know it.
and you know it.
so stop it.

furthermore, it makes you look like an idiot. and it makes me feel like an idiot because i recognize you, standing there, looking like an idiot, but i'm too damn kind to say that to you (oh, but one of these days, sister... just you wait...), and therefore i play along and pretend to buy into your idiocy and therefore you believe that you have duped me, and therefore i MUST be an idiot, and therefore i feel like an idiot.

okay. so where do we go from here?

just, you know, stop it. if you find out about something cool, and would like to share it with others, that is fantastic! please do that. the world needs more awesome stuff in it. but stop with the facade of "know what's awesome?! sandwiches. no really! you probably wouldn't know what they are, but trust me, they're awesome. i'm awesome. i mean they're awesome."

an other way of expressing this same idea might be: "so although sandwiches are not a new phenomenon, i made myself a really good one the other day! here's what was in it..."

and there you have it. trust me, there's a difference! in option #2, you still get the credit for making something that has existed for a VERY LONG TIME a little DIFFERENT & (here it is, folks, are you paying attention?) ORIGINAL, while not trying to make your audience (me) believe that you had a hand in the original invention of one of the most beloved foods of our time.

thank you.

killer... snow... blorf

2008-12-19T16:05:00.000-08:00

ugh, i can't even come up with a decent title for this one, as i'm thoroughly stir-crazy. bored. numb-minded.

tis the season, of course. it's always like this at this time of year. slow. nothing to do. last year, i took a more depressed route around, so the fact that i'm not savagely searching for new employment is a good sign, at the very least.

no, that - for once - is something that i'm okay with at the moment. i don't know whether it's because i've come to terms with my role, or because of the strides that sales guy eric has taken to help bring me into better light, or if it's all in my head, or what...?? but i'm content at the moment. perhaps it's the economy, and the daily news of more and more people being laid off from their jobs. i'm grateful that it really looks like this little company is going to be okay (atleast in the long run). our technology is coming up to speed, and we're just niche enough to not really be affected by the ills of the greater capitalist public. so yay for that.

maybe it's the crazy amount of snow we received over the past two days, maybe it's the christmas season, maybe it's the hike in our rent, maybe all of the above... but i have this unpleasant mix of cabin fever, stir-crazies, and cash lust. i want a house SO BADLY. i'm so tired of renting. i just want a house. with more than one bedroom. more than one bathroom (not even multiple bathtubs... just his & hers poopers would suit us fine). a gas stove and man cave for him. a pleasant backyard and lots of double-paned windows for me. within our designated neighborhood, and without breaking our piddly (fuck it - NONEXISTENT) bank. why is that so darn much to ask for? how has the greed gotten so out of hand? it's depressing. sorry about that.

at heart, i can't help but be a bit of a fatalist. did i take a wrong turn somewhere? if i hadn't done... something... or if i had... would any of this be easier?

--realism-judo-chop--

well, duh: if i HADN'T been so flippant about the use of credit cards for so many years, i would be better off. if i HAD been more interested in school while i was there, and if i HAD established more of a direction with my career while i was still starting out, then i would be better off (i can't help but believe this).

it's all lessons learned. i know that. it's all dissected and internalized. if the mr. and i ever do have kids (don't ask -- i DON'T know), then one thing is for sure -- they will KNOW THE HELL OF DEBT. THEY WILL FEAR IT. AND THEY WILL BE KEPT AWAY. they will be taught the importance of saving your pennies, and the necessity of LEARNING how to manage your money. not by losing it, or spreading it all over the place. but by reading, and talking and listening and paying attention. that's one thing that i'd do differently from mom. there aren't many things i'd do differently -- but that's a big one.

bah, anyway.

guess i'll go play boomshine for the last 20 minutes before closing up shop. or maybe i'll whip off a christmas letter to add to the cards. meh, who am i kidding... no cards are being sent out this year. maybe next.

Better Luck Next Time

2008-05-08T15:26:00.001-07:00

huh. 2008 seems to be shaping up as "The Year That Almost Was..."

by this i mean that there have been a number of things in recent months that could have - should have - come to fruition, and that would have made a big & important difference in lives around me.

for example: my last post. that was a mother-f-ing doozy, the loss of which is made all the more sour by this next example:

apparently, there is this big project for which the company i work for was a shu-in as a consulting firm. we've worked on this project in past years, and it makes up like, a monster chunk of our yearly revenue. well, this year we lost it. foul-play has been suggested, but what the hell does it matter?

oh, well it matters because had we WON the project this year, i may not be getting cut to half-time hours... or maybe i would be. i dunno.

ready for another nugget of golden goodness? e's boss was a shu-in for that 2nd restaurant that he bid on. the owners came to HIM to buy, and everyone was on board -- till at the last minute, bankruptcy was declared and the deal altogether died. why did that ultimately matter? because e would have been the exec chef... corporate chef, in mixed company, and his jump in $alary would have - presumably - more than made up for my loss of half a paycheck now.

there are other examples -- i know i'm forgetting some -- because i have felt the exact frustration of a good thing slipping through my fingers more times in recent months than i can remember in all my life.
i know i shouldn't complain. my life is good -- it really is, and i have so much for which to be grateful...

but fuck, am i cheezed off right now. fuck fuck.

Fortified with Optimism

2008-04-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

I love those commercials for the "nutrition bars" called SoyJoy, which claim that the treats are "Fortified with Optimism!" I love the name SoyJoy, too -- though I have not yet tasted the actual product. Their marketing team clearly rocks, though.

I need a little optimism fortification lately, as I'm really feeling very much like an obese and narcoleptic pit-bull is sitting on my metaphorical tail... And, perhaps, farting.

See, though my "loyal readers" know of this already, I was recently a shu-in for a really great job. It was entirely within my skill set, and I was even given a hearty recommendation by a wonderfully generous acquaintance - and long-time, respected employee of the company. The position was mine to blow. And guess what I did... While on vacation with E the week after a series of successful interviews, I received a concerned phone call from the HR rep who had been handling my case. "We have some... questions and concerns about your... credit history."

My heart sank and right then I knew I had lost it. See, I'm a dipshit. No surprise there, right? I have more or less always opted to "learn by doing," NOT by listening. In my 18-year-old opinion at the time, I thought that opening a line of credit at every store in the mall was a dandy idea, regardless of all the warnings you hear at that age: "blah blah responsibility blah stays-with-you-forever blah blah." Hell, I could shop all day long and still have cash left over for a pizza and a movie later. And it's not like I ignored the bills -- I paid them most of the time... eventually. In all honesty, I truly believed that in just a matter of a few years, I'd be making the "big bucks," and could easily pay it all off in the blink of an eye. After all, that's what happens after you graduate college, right? Right?! (Hint: Not with a B.A. in Psychology, it's not...)

So surprise-surprise, the credit report that returned to the company showed a relatively large number of infractions (nothing truly serious, mind you!) -- but a large enough frequency of bugs to raise their eyebrows. I was mortified, so I took a day to think about my response, all the while knowing that it was worthless. Nevertheless, I wrote a long, detailed letter to justify each of the infractions -- and pointless or not, I have to say it made me feel like I was doing something to save face... The HR rep tried to be optimistic and supportive, and replied that she thought maybe the company would make an exception for me, given my recommendations, skill & apparent character.

...No go.

Ah well... At least there's still the "stable job" in the meantime (or at least until the economy bottoms out entirely). That was just my "lucky break" kind of opportunity, which apparently collided with my time to "learn a hard lesson that you will wish you had learned years ago..." Fuck.

...And then a few more changes...

2008-03-28T15:01:00.000-07:00

Oy. I think that a few things may be different by the end of '08.

On the list:
1. Body/health (as previously reported)
2. Home (perhaps something larger...? It remains to be seen.)
3. Job (double-oy...)

Stay tuned.

The brink of change

2008-02-09T13:31:00.000-08:00

So y'know what I just did? I joined tens of thousands of other lovely folk who ventured into the breezy & cool Seattle Saturday to attend the Washington Democratic Caucus! (Yay for voting!)

Previously a caucus-virgin, I had no idea of what to expect, and though A&H also went-a-caucus-ing today, we live in different precincts and so had to register at different caucus sites. E had to work (E always has to work), so this meant that I was flying solo today. Ordinarily (as my sole two readers -- and the two people closest to me in the world already know), this would be a recipe for inaction. I would have flicked on the television, or busied myself elsewhere, in an attempt to convince myself that I wasn't scared to go by myself to a very important, historically relevant, and socially responsible function -- I was just too busy. (...We'll save the discussion of my social paralysis for another day.)

However, the time has definitely come. The time for change is heavily upon us, and I suppose 8 years of growing increasingly disenchanted with the United States' government, 8 years of escalating lies, deceit, corruption, irresponsible and damaging crony-ism, 8 years of growing more and more angry at my fellow Americans for being such ass-tastic, common-sense-tarded, scum-sucking douche-bags -- is just about enough to propel my fat (aka "American") ass into motion today, and I went. I stood in a small, hot, crowded room with hundreds of my immediate neighbors; I was herded to the corner of the room representing my precinct; I picked up that pen, and I -- all by myself -- VOTED. I voted with every ounce of anger, every ounce of frustration, fatigue, and -- (is it truly accurate to say? Can there really be an ounce of it left??) -- hope in the tattered corridor of my heart reserved for this mudhole we call: America.

Though I did not stick around for the pleasantries of speaking with others about my unwavering Obama-crush, nor was I interested in hearing what any Hillary supporters (however seemingly and conspicuously few there may have been at this particular caucus site) had to say -- I felt pretty darn good about my day's activity. After spending so many years feeling like just one of the masses neglected, abused and globally-embarrassed by the Bush Administration, I had my one, small say.

Will America ever regain a respectable reputation? Will the impending and inevitable recession turn out to be the epic bitch-slap for not fighting harder, voting louder, standing stronger against the Bush Circus in 2004, that it's projected to be? Will I ever not hate 90% of the population in this despicable country? A lot of people have a lot of standing up to do, and methinks more than a few stars need to miraculously align themselves before that happens... But at the very least, there is the promise of eventual change.

To Do in 2008

2007-12-30T10:49:00.000-08:00

Let's see...

2007 wasn't the worst year on record:

began

completed

mostly

have

I'm sure I'm missing a number of other good things that happened this year, but the point is that (for E&I, anyway), 2008 has some fair-sized shoes to fill. There will definitely be some surprises -- both good and bad, but one way or another, by the time it's over:

2008, here we come.

Stupid

2007-11-06T15:00:00.000-08:00

Ever notice that the DUMBER someone is, the dumber they assume you are? It's not difficult math: they are actually too dumb to realize that they are so dumb, they are dumber than other people. Dumb.

**(In a brief flash of irony and consequent shame, I just realized that, based on my own sense of being so very much smarter than some of these indescribably unintelligent folks, perhaps I was, infact... one of them...)

But then a warm cloak of reassurance blanketed my fretting self, and I realize: I don't actually think I'm the smartest of these simpletons... Simply not the dumbest.

Thank you Jesus.

Today's accomplishments:

2007-11-05T16:42:00.000-08:00

Hours worked: 7 (+40 minutes)

Two professional emails
Two personal emails
Online shopping
Google Reader'd a TON
Craigslist scanning (two cities)
Two bathroom breaks
One quick walk to the back of the shop/warehouse, simply for the "exercise"
Read most of Mindy Kaling's blog
Processed one PO
Ebay'd a bit
Applied for 5 jobs online

11 days

2007-08-27T21:49:00.001-07:00

We're getting married in 11 days and... 19 hours! 11 days and 19 hours from this moment, I will be wearing my amazing dress, with my ("something borrowed") veil... my hair will be gorgeous and my makeup stunning. my nails will be buffed, painted and shined, and I will look into E's eyes as anything but his wife for the last time in our lives.

I'm not nervous -- is that weird? Somehow, it would be weirder if I WAS. E&I have just ALWAYS been "us." From the first date, we have simply known we belong together. (Sure, he tried to pretend like we were "just dating" for like, the first couple of weeks -- but he wasn't kidding anybody!) He was just as crazy about me as I was for him.

So, not nervous -- just anxious. I know it's going to be a fantastic night -- fantastic weekend, in fact! So much to do, but it will all come together so perfectly. Then, it's JUST US.

THANK GOD!!!

Just the TWO of us for a WHOLE WEEK!! Good Lord, that hasn't happened since the 5 days it took us to drive from NY... nearly 3 years ago. We can't wait!!

ONLY 7 months later!

2007-07-04T11:10:00.001-07:00

Last weekend, we were at a bar, and as the boys sucked down their 8th draughts, we dainty flowers sipped politely on our 3rd *cough* OKAY, 4th cocktails... All of a sudden, A pinched me and yelled in my general direction (again, 4 cocktails deep) "WHY DON'T YOU-U-U BLORG ANNN-YMORE?"

And so, due to "popular demand," I have revved up my blogosphere-cycle and here you have it -- my, um, 2nd post for 2007 -- and ONLY 7 months later!!

Oy, what has happened this year... Well, firstly E&I have a brand, spanking new niecelet (first ever for either of us, though given J&T's buttery grasp of good ol' birth control, it shant be the last)! She's actually very cute -- her head and all of her parts are properly shaped (except, apparently, for a couple of valves in her itsy heart -- but this is being addressed presently, and all will be well!) Both of her eyes seem to look in the same direction at once, so... Well done!

The W-E-D-D-I-N-G is ever upon us, and plans are coming right along. Two months, now. It has been bitched about before, and should come as no surprise -- but the sheer amount of $$ that goes into making one of these things spectacular (and why shouldn't it be?!) makes me throw up a little. But, it will all be worth it in the end; fun will be had by all; and the E! network will be oh-so-sorry they missed it.

A,E&I went to NY for my ultra-spectacular bridal shower in June. It really was ultra-spectacular! For never having done this before, A is a KICK ASS MOH. My BM (the bridal-sort, not the fiber-induced-sort) also rocks, so all in all, I'm a lucky bride!

E&I have been working our butts off -- literally (though E never really had much of a butt to work off, so I suppose that should read: E&I have been working our buddha's & butts off, respectively). Together, we have lost nearly 100lbs -- that's as much as a starlet + pre-adoption Jolie-Pitt kid! We're pretty proud of ourselves, though we each have a LONG way to go... The plan is to keep working, and collectively lose the troupe of Project Runway models (read: another 100lbs). It's cliche, obvious & repetitive, but we really are enjoying the new & improved lifestyle -- we're both feeling better, physically & emotionally -- and of course we love the fact that we now have "Fat Clothes..." However the down-side to this is that because we're trying to save every red cent for the W-day, that it's ACTUALLY a struggle to buy new every-day clothes. Luckily, E wears a uniform for work (sexy sexy chefwear -- I love a man in a neckerchief & toque!), and my office is so relaxed and... ACADEMIC (read: oblivious) that I could wear a pink gorilla suit to work every day, and no one would notice.

As for work, E was turned down for a promotion at his job several months ago, and started a search for something "bigger & better..." What found him was something "smaller, and nice, and not so well-known, though the new title/responsibilities/salary were super" with a brand new head-chef -- who turned out to be Grade-A Crazy (and violent). Thank heavens, his old boss took him back, E had a stinking heap of pride to swallow, but all is well once more.
I continue to like my job. Maybe not "love it," as it isn't making us rich quick, and I don't feel like I was simply BORN to file sales quotes... BUT I have been there for nearly a year now (a LONG time for me, post-college), and I still don't HATE it. The people are great, and rarely let me forget that I'm valued there (trust me, I KNOW how lucky I am for this). A has decided that I'm their "Pam," and though she's not necessarily my favorite Office friend, at least I'm not their Schrute!

Well, I guess I should click "Publish," before I get distracted (there seem to be shiny things everywhere today...) and forget (I wont say that this hasn't lead to my lack of posts in more than half a year!).

So, here goes (see ya' in '08):

'07, Here We Come!

2007-01-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

*DEEP BREATH*

*let it out*

HAPPY 2007 EVERYBODY!!

And goodbye and good riddance to 2006... Ugh. Y'know, as years go, 2006 was neither the best ever, nor the worst. It definitely had it's moments - in all aspects of life - and for what it's worth, they were not All bad...

Politics: Sure, the Bush Circus successfully lied, cheated, killed, covered up, and bungled their way through yet another 365 days without getting themselves shot, lynched or blown up...
But the horizon is already looking a bit brighter and shiny with the glimmer of hope that is Democratic control of not only the House, but ALSO ALSO ALSO the Senate, and for the love of all that is Holy and Karmic, GWB is not Constitutionally permitted to remain at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave (nor, for that beautiful matter, in the Oval office) for more than 2 more years!! And so, for every day that he pushes North Korea closer to their breaking point; imposes American arrogance and bull-honkery on foreign countries who (justifiably) want nothing to do with the corrupt government stylings of this land; sentences thousands of American soldiers to their untimely, and pointless deaths; all while diving trillions of dollars more into debt; blatantly ignoring and disobeying the Constitution (out of date as it may be...); and ignoring (and spinning out of recognition) the original reason why Americans were so pissed off to begin with, oh, say sometime in mid-late 2001... Yes, for every one of these days, it's an other day closer to "Sianara Sucka!" Make way for another ineffectual schmucky-muck -- because they have one helluva mess to tend to!

Career: Still, I have no clue. Perhaps this is my calling in life: to constantly second-guess myself, and agonize over the fact that I'm really not built for any one career goal... Maybe the point of my professional existence is just to "fill the gaps," and do whatever doesn't make me completely miserable for forty hours a week. This is what I'm doing now, after only 3 separate attempts since January, 2006. It's not a life's calling, but it doesn't make me suicidal, either...
E continues his plight for middle-upper management in the horribly unpredictable culinary world. He is so good at his job -- and enjoys it, for the most part (which is more than you can say for a lot of people, to be sure) -- but a leg up every now and then would certainly be appreciated.

Self: *Hesitate, deep breath* It's been a long year for my self-esteem, as most are! I kind of thought that maybe after exiting teenage existence, and entering into the frightening world of adulthood (which was, oh, 6 years ago now) that I might be jarred into a solid sense of self, with a clear vision of my future, and absolute opinions on oh, anything, that I wouldn't be afraid to share with others. I would be more than happy and confident to defend my actions, and only do the things that made sense to me, and that made me, and those closest to me happy and content. Maybe I could define my relationships with everyone in my life, and I would be able to vocalize my disgust with one, or distaste for another -- all without succumbing to crippling, guilt-ridden anxiety over disappointing, or being disliked by someone I either do, or even do not care about...
Ummm... I guess I'll keep trying!
I am however, making some progress (SLOWLY, but surely). I think I am, anyway -- though sometimes it's definitely tough to say whether I'm progressing, or regressing! I guess time, and my blood pressure will tell...

Family: Oy, vay! Well, neither of my siblings, nor I managed to get pregnant, nor knock up any one-night-stands, then proceed not to tell anyone about it (including my father and girlfriend) until 2 months after it was born, so I guess we're doing a bit better than one cousin of ours... My brother, however, continues to torture the rest of the family with threats of marrying his slug-tastic, bottom-of-the-barrel girlfriend -- while my father actually DID marry his...
E managed to meet one more (yep, just ONE) redeeming member of my family when my cousin's wonderful husband (therefore, not even a blood relative, but maybe that's the trick) came to town for an impromptu visit.
A&H&E&I continued our drunken shenanigans, closing out the year (albeit a day early) with a hung-over sickfest to rival any other.

Anyway, 2007 is sure to be filled with even more surprises and shocking events, good and bad. It will, to be sure, be a year to remember -- as by the end of it, E&I will be married, and we will be one more year closer to our house & Francis-dog!! We also plan to be about 1000 collective pounds lighter, so we'll see you at the gym...

Cheers!

see??? I am NOT alone!

2006-11-14T18:09:00.000-08:00

What a fabulous plan for the whole holiday season.

That's all I'm saying...

...you're not my dad

2006-11-01T19:08:00.003-08:00

I have made a significant social observation regarding a previous frame of reference, since proven false:

Many men actually do care about, and CONTRIBUTE to the well-being of their families!! They are polite, courteous and inclusive of others -- including folks who may not be exactly like them in sex, age, race, intelligence, monitary or social standing... They put their wives and children before themselves, and even occasionally before their jobs and extracurricular interests...

I may sound like I'm either being sarcastic, or perhaps ludicrously jaded by a childhood in small-town, backwoods, "I ain't need no college, havin' babies is all I'm gonna do," good ol' U.S. muther-fukin' A!

...Um, yeah, could be that second one...

I know I'm not alone in the fact that I grew up (and out of) a small, largely under-educated town where the only men I knew (who weren't teachers) were generally brutish drunks who sat around barking at each other about the football game or golf tournament that was on tv at the moment... Women were nags who demanded they be home at a decent hour (every night?!), and that they attend an occasional little league match or boy scout meeting with their kid. Ornamental sex objects, perhaps -- but the female gender was good for nothing but having dinner on the table, raising up the acciden- I mean children - and ensuring that one's buddies could never think you were *snarf* a homo.

my dad lived with us until i was... (14?) even after he moved out, he still lived nearby. he NEVER ONCE took me to a doctor's appointment. he picked me up from school PERHAPS a handful of times in all of my unlicensed years... and NO!! I'M NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS!!! THIS IS NOT A "WOE IS ME" CRY!

This is the only way I can seemingly justify my shock and thorough, momentary smitten infatuation with the men at work when they mention leaving early that day to pick up their son from the sitter's... when they take a long lunch to take their daughter to her dentist appointment... when they pass around pictures of their new grandbaby...

they make me want to cry my eyes out with happy realization that men are NOT generally unfeeling oafs -- that many of them actually VALUE the things in life that MATTER!

a branch of thought from this trunk of revelation is that my future father-in-law is among these men whose hearts are with their families first, and all else second. Referring to a previous point in this rant, he is a former administrator from a higher education institution -- but even so, he is pretty much the patron saint of fantastic-fatherhood. i've been in future-daughter-in-law-love with him since day one, and i know for sure that it's because he's so desperately different from my own father.

my grandfather was a wonderful family-man as well, but i knew him only as my grandpa. he loved and provided for, and protected his family when he was "dad" -- but for as long as i knew him, he was only "grandpa," and had been "grandpa" for many years. he sat at the kitchen table and ate stale donuts from the pantry... he mixed apple juice with orange (i still don't know why)... he preferred his toast burnt, spent forever in the bathroom, folded his dentures in a napkin next to his plate, and unwrapped his butterscotch candy during silent prayers at church. he cried at EVERYTHING that made him the least bit happy, and i must say that he passed that on to his granddaughters...

nevertheless, i suppose the point to this mile-long rant is: thank God I've been WRONG all along!

you're not my mom...

2006-09-28T16:58:00.000-07:00

someone called the office today, and asked for one of the doctors here. when i asked "whom may I say is calling?" the kid TOTALLY said "Your Mom!" and hung up.

so distracte --- oo, new webcomic post!

2006-09-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

it's so quiet at work today... one of my bosses is out, entertaining clients, i guess. the other boss is with her daughter at the American Idol auditions downtown. my other boss is probably busy, swimming through articles and emails on his desk from 1994, and the phone hasn't rang in an hour and a half...

i'm pretty much at the peak of distraction... these are some of the things that i've been, um, "working on" all morning:

-filing completed project files
-processed two packing lists
-replied to the three emails i've received today
-caught up on some old Natalie Dee Archives
-wrote an email to E's parents
-checked out Toothpaste today...
-fixed a paper jam in the printer
-posted 2 - TWO! blog postings
-went to the bathroom
-drank some coffee

my ultimate career goal is (clearly) to leave the saving of the world to someone else...

new do

2006-09-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

i agonized for about a week, trying to decide whether i should dump my hair dresser. she's a sweet person, but in addition to the fact that she is physiologically incapable of allowing ME to direct the styling of my own mop, she is also incapable of giving ANYONE a hairstyle longer than the top of one's ears. this worked for me for a short while, but now that i'm bridal primping, and trying to grow my hair long, i'm downright scared to give her ANY opportunity to sabotage my efforts.

my issue had become increasingly pressing this past week because my roots had grown beyond that which is becoming of a lady, and so the time had come for me to decide -- shall i subject myself to her chair, insisting and demanding ONLY COLOR -- NO CUTTING!, or shall i just say screw it, and buy the $8 box of Clairol...? previously, my head has been an amazing, technicolor array of streaks and stripes, and many hours of foil and toxins has gone into my rock and roll do... dare i venture into the confusing world of the uni-colored?

oh, but behold!! Clairol Hydrience #36, "Suntan"...

This i can live with! it's shiny and copper-y, and yes, a single color, and yet -- leaves NOTHING to be desired! Clairol #36 doesn't even take 3 hours to make me look glam-fabulous, it doesn't squable on at me about the doomed crush it has on it's Western Civ. professor... And it DEFINITELY didn't cost me half of this week's paycheck to cover it.

*swoon* i'm in golden, "suntanned" love!

Return of the Frenzy...

2006-09-16T23:19:00.000-07:00

So I have a question for all of you folks out there who have NO FREAKING CLUE THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE ON THIS FREAKING EARTH...

...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? Who ever told you that you are the single, most important person in town?? Because believe me, sugar -- at no point during my day am I above beating a bitch with my cell phone, or otherwise flipping bananas all up in your grill...

Yes, 80-pound sorority girl in the restaurant who will continue to perch on the edge of your pulled-out chair behind me (who is NOT 80 pounds...) forcing me to slide into my seat, sit perfectly upright, and pray for air while I, um, overhear EVERY word of your assinine, two-tequila-shots-too-many, mind-numbing, soul-soiling, so-called conversation with your frat-boy-du-jour, I'm talking to you.

Yes, Ms. I'm too self-important and inconsiderate to slow down before I actually reach the red-light intersection to let you out of your drive-way. Instead, I'm going to stop DIRECTLY infront of your driveway, and then awkwardly stare straight ahead, pretending not to know that I'm completely blocking you in from being on your merry and assumingly grateful way. This makes me feel good the first thing in the morning, and helps to repair the damage done to me in the 1st grade, when I was supposed to be the leader in the bathroom line, but Heather Whoever had to budge infront of me and then she got to be the leader for the whole day... And anway... just... ME FIRST!! I'm talking to you.

Yes, Mr. & Ms. New Neighbors upstairs who apparently need to hammer, saw, screw, drill, sandblast and otherwise construct their ikea coffee table and tv stand at exactly ten minutes after i decide it's time for bed (which, for those of you who may be cynical or astute enough to ask: is NOT typically in the middle of the afternoon on Saturday -- we're talking closer to real-life, adult bedtimes here...), I'm talking to you.

Yes, people of all ages, races, and mobility stages who feel entitled to saunter, sache, plod, trudge, shuffle, lumber, shamble, tramp, creep or crawl across the street in any fashion which is clearly slower than thier physical state readily indicates, in a busy intersection, where cars (especially mine) are trying to pass through during their green light allowance. Get off of your high horse -- and the phone, while you're at it -- and just cross the damn street! Nordstrom's Rack won't be there, on the opposite block forever. Step to!

True Royalty

2006-09-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

The Princepessa de Pepperdom

New & Improved

2006-09-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

Hi all. I admit it -- I wrote myself into a funk. I know that I did this because I found myself not wanting to write anymore. I took a look at my last blog, Tricks and Tortles, and realized that it wasn't what I wanted my blog to be. It was sad. It was angry. It was pissed off rantings about things, even if i wasn't particularly pissed off. it was a lot of crap and puss that -- let's face it -- NO ONE enjoys.

so, here i am. i'm back, and i'm going to try this thing again. i think it'll be better. i think it will be because my life is better. we've all had jobs we didn't like, and made some bad decisions, blah blah, crap and puss, blah. but now, i do enjoy my job, however boring it may be from time to time... the BEST thing, however, about my life at the moment is that i'm living in the most wonderful city in this crap-tastic country, and i have only a CHOICE gathering of folks surrounding me. of course, i can't have it all -- there are a few people out there who i'd love to have closer, but for the sake of a consistently happy life, my charming fiance and my sister (paired w/ her furry and also-fantastic husband) are the top peas in my pod.

i have the most wonderful fiance, by the way. he makes my life so... GOOD. those of you who have REALLY found someone who will always give you the last piece of perfectly-ripe mango, or warm your icy feet on his tummy 365 days a year, or tell you that he still can't get enough of your love, regardless of the extra pounds you've put on since getting together... YOU know what i'm talking about. there's NOTHING like this, and NO ONE like him.

my sister is pretty much completely opposite from me. and yet, we're strangely alike... that's sisterhood for you, i suppose. she's super-crafty and gifted, driven, healthy, level-headed, and - oh yeah - she's a ga-brilliant DOCTOR. freaking PHD, for Christ's sake. i'm lucky i can SPELL P-H-D... i think i'm missing a lower-case letter in there somewhere, but what the hell do i care -- (i'm clearly opposed to consistently correct capitalization).

so anywho, welcome to my new and improved blog. it should be happier, and lighter, and well, not depressing as fuck to read. no promises, however -- i am, afterall, eternally the middle sibling of three children. in addition, NO ONE'S life is perfect, and if they were, blogs would be boring as fuck to read...

and we can't have that, can we...?!