all the king's men

i can't really explain why this is taking me for such a ride. or maybe i don't want to understand why, and therefore refuse to dig too deeply... i just don't know. i know it's none of my business, and despite the fact that i'm usually pretty good about letting those kinds of things roll off, this one is particularly sticky.

backstory: Brian is one of the resident nice guys around here. super-friendly, easy-going, and generally just a kind, good person. the kind of kind, good person that you want to see win all of the rounds, every battle. karma should play robin to his batman, and there should always be a happily ever after. married to his high school sweetheart, with two of the cutest kids anywhere. life is perfect, isn't it?

why would you do anything to lose it?
why would you let it go?
why not fight for it until the last drop has dried up?

...or did you?
was it her choice?
was it she who left you?

i discovered, via the infamous Facebook this weekend, that B's status has changed from "married" to "it's complicated." today i realized: he's no longer wearing his wedding ring.

so sad!
what happened?
what now?

upon further investigation (stalking? potato, potahto), there appears to be someone new in his life.

the usual, mousy, cutesy homewrecker-type...
why do they always look the same?

and then i remember back a few months ago, the private phone calls he took in his car, or out behind the office. seemed off at the time, but everyone needs to make an embarrassing appointment from time to time, right? marital debates happen at all hours of the day, and so who am i to question these actions?

only happened a few times anyway.

but now it's weird. do i say something? no, of course not. it's less my place to say a word than it is to play judge.

i mean in terms of support. want to talk?

no. not me. not this time. who am i to assume that roll?

it's just so disappointing.

oh poor you. like it's your marriage that's ended.

i know. thank God.

copywright

so something has been super-bugging me for, well, a really long time now. i have no idea of when it began as a super-mega-wicked-pet-peeve, but there it is.


or here it is:

when something that was once, or still is, awesome (or perceived as awesome) is repeated in relative perpetuity by humans who repeat it in such a way as to make others think that perhaps it is their own, original, witty and adorable quip, deserving of repetition by the audience members in various venues and gatherings of mixed company in such a way as to suggest that it was THEIR OWN originality spewing forth. and so on.


and so on.


typically the quote (though not always a quote; sometimes an idea) is originally, relatively obscure. think not of the "WHAAZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHP?" phenomenon - charming as that was - of the late 90's... think more along the lines of bacon-love. skinny jeans & ironic t-shirts. knitting. internet-exclusive, web-short mini-series'. blogging. twitter. photography as a hobby.


now before the thousands upon thousands of bacon-loving, tweeting, knitting, hipster comic/photographer/bloggers out there reading this revolt and declare me a clueless, uncool loser (though not wholly untrue), i am NOT saying that there is anything wrong with bacon, skinny jeans, ironic t-shirts, knitting, web-short mini series, blogging, twitter or photography (okay, maybe there's lots wrong with skinny jeans). i myself enjoy a number of these things, and have often declared my love of said things to mixed company. guilty.


what i AM SAYING is that, chances are, not one of these things was YOUR idea. you were not the first person to find photography AWESOME. you do not hold a PhD in twitter. if you were the first to declare skinny jeans as a sartorial imperative, you should be lynched - not celebrated nor admired for your ingenuity. stop trying to lead me to believe that everything you find awesome was your original idea. your discovery.

it was not.
i know it.
and you know it.
so stop it.

furthermore, it makes you look like an idiot. and it makes me feel like an idiot because i recognize you, standing there, looking like an idiot, but i'm too damn kind to say that to you (oh, but one of these days, sister... just you wait...), and therefore i play along and pretend to buy into your idiocy and therefore you believe that you have duped me, and therefore i MUST be an idiot, and therefore i feel like an idiot.

okay. so where do we go from here?

just, you know, stop it. if you find out about something cool, and would like to share it with others, that is fantastic! please do that. the world needs more awesome stuff in it. but stop with the facade of "know what's awesome?! sandwiches. no really! you probably wouldn't know what they are, but trust me, they're awesome. i'm awesome. i mean they're awesome."

an other way of expressing this same idea might be: "so although sandwiches are not a new phenomenon, i made myself a really good one the other day! here's what was in it..."

and there you have it. trust me, there's a difference! in option #2, you still get the credit for making something that has existed for a VERY LONG TIME a little DIFFERENT & (here it is, folks, are you paying attention?) ORIGINAL, while not trying to make your audience (me) believe that you had a hand in the original invention of one of the most beloved foods of our time.

thank you.